You Know You Work in Corporate America in the 90s If...

1. You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
2. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
4. Your company logo on your badge is applied with stickum.
5. You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.
6. When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
7. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
8. You learn about your layoff on CNN.
9. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
10. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
11. Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three weeks between Christmas and New Years because otherwise you will lose it, or you get a check for it every January.
12. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
13. You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
14. It's dark when you drive to and from work.
15. Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
16. Communication is something your group is having problems with.
17. You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
18. Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
19. Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.
20. Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
21. Art involves a white board.
22. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
23. When 100% of your time means 20 hours, with 40 more hours on the other 100% of your time.
24. You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow,thanks!"
25. Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read only by your coworkers.
26. Your boss' favorite lines are, "When you get a few minutes" or "When you're freed up".

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