Things You'd Love to Say at Work But Can't

• And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
• Do I look like a people person?
• This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
• I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• If I throw a stick, will you leave?
• You!... Off my planet!
• Does your train of thought have a caboose?
• Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• A PBS mind in an MTV world.
• Allow me to introduce my selves.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
• See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
• Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
• Not all women are annoying. Some are dead.
• I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
• A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
• Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
• Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
• Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
• Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
• Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
• How do I set a laser printer to stun?
• I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

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